High Tide

Tags

daily life, daily rumbling, lesson learned, life

Assalamu ‘alaikum wr. wb. 

Hallo, hallo, it has been almost 3 months for me not managing my only and best outlet of curcol (read: this blog). Yak, flash update: I moved to Samarinda last May, took my maternity leave starting also from May, and directly resigned from my post in UNESCO. Hiks, sedih sih… 

I could say, me working in UNESCO is (still) my dream comes true. Because I have been dreaming of working for UN since I was a kid. So Me parting ways with my dream job is another kind of broken heart. Well, leaving Jakarta–and of course my working routine–brought me closer to my husband. That was the whole point of this sacrifice. *lebay kalik

And somehow, it will be so cruel if I decided to have my baby living far away from his Dad, as bad as if I did not fully taking care of him. For side note, even if I chose the last option, there is no one available to co-nurse my baby while I am working. So it was not an option anymore. Even though I convinced my family and my husband that, insyaAlloh that kind of job will be easily found when I’m ready–in that way, hopefully I could convice my self–however, the worry is still there like a very high tide. 

The anxiety of being less actualized person surfaced when I was contemplating to be full time homey mommey. Yet for me it was the only possible choice I had. Now I am at home, nursing Nara. 

Every decision has its bundle of consequences, like every choice has its own risks and opportunities. That’s life, completely normal. The challenge lies only on how I handle life. That’s it. 

I realize to understand this condition and stuffs, it needs time and I am procrastinating to be there, where I will come to an actualization that being a mom–even not that so perfect one–is actually a part of successful self-actualization. 

With abundant of love,

Wassalamu alaikum wr. wb. 

atviana

the changing life and its compromise

Tags

daily life, daily rumble, lesson, lesson learnt, life, life lesson

Nah kan benar saja.

Ketika ada sesuatu yang berkecamuk dalam pikiran atau mengganjal di hati, kekuatan untuk menulis blog muncul semerta-merta. Waktu yang diada-adain, ide yang juga diada-adain.

Assalamu ‘alaikum wr.wb. my lovely reader.

Alhamdulillah Januari akhirnya datang juga. Yang artinya sudah memulai hitungan tahun yang lain lagi. Pertanyaannya, sudah ngapain aja di 2016?

Bagi saya, 2016 penuh up and down, nggak perlu diulas lah ya apa aja kejadiannya, pokoknya gitu. Exact this moment I feel a bit down. Belom sampai merasa menjadi seseorang yang gagal sih, hanya saja ada hal-hal yang membuat saya sedikit banyak merasa mengalami kemunduran. The biggest concern I have is, I don’t feel what normally people show they feel during the moment I am trough. And the next concern is about the compromise. Yakni setiap kompromi yang harus saya lakukan untuk setiap pilihan hidup.

Ya, situasinya berubah. Berkembang. Dan anehnya saya tidak—atau mungkin belum—merasakan kebahagiaan yang lumrahnya dialami oleh orang-orang. Atau orang-orang tersebut banyak yang nggak jujur? Well it is indeed different case. Yang jelas, I do feel so different and not normal. And somehow it makes me sad.

Perubahan-perubahan yang terjadi, membuat saya mau tidak mau melakukan kompromi. Yang mana, saya katakan jujur, tidak mudah. Bukan berarti saya tidak pernah melakukan kompromi, atau ekstrimnya mengalah. Hanya saja negosiasi internal/eksternal yang selama ini pernah saya lakukan tidak melibatkan pengorbanan sebesar ini—mungkin kedengarannya terlalu absurd dan klise, tapi begitulah adanya.

Namun saya kemudian teringat, konsep yang selama ini saya pegang teguh: i) Hidup memang sejatinya adalah ujian. Tanpa ujian, hidup bukan hidup. ii) Alloh is indeed the best planner. When life goes not in the way you mean it to be, it means Allah plans a lot lot better journey ahead upon you.

Dan saya kembali dihadapkan pada sang situasi. Dan saya berharap dan berdoa: I really do the power to handle these stuffs smoothly. Aaamiiin. *hold tears back

wassalamu alaikum.
with lots of love,

atviana

entah kenapa lagi pengen throwback poto-poto jaman kuliah

the songs that make me, me.

Tags

life, life story

I know I will sound cheesy, or clingy or anything possibly cross your mind if you know me well. I tend to have unchanged preference in music. It means after all these years, I undoubted still listen to the same songs over and over again. Even though there will be new list added.

Nah, the problem lies with the fact that, every song originally came from one exact period of my life. When I fell in love with the beat, the lyrics and so on, my life at that time represented beautifully by the song. That is—up to today—the main reason why I love a particular song.

The Very Best Planner!

Tags

atviana traveling talk, friendship, lesson learnt, life, life story, Love, marriage, seoul foliage trip, Traveling Talk, wedding

*I planned to post this exactly on October 1^st however with everything that were going on, I just forgot to do so, -wide grin-*

Alloh swt is the very Best Planner, ever!

Wedding Preparation and the Drama! Ah!

Tags

friendship, life, life lesson, Love, romantic, travel, wedding

image by favim.com

Assalamu alaikum, hello reader!

Hari ini H-8 atau H-9 yak?
Gosh, kadang-kadang gw juga nggak ngeh kalau udah bentar lagi.

Yeah! I am getting married very soon. InsyaAlloh. Who is he? I will talk about him on another post perhaps. Postingan ini sebenarnya ingin menggarisbawahi ke-tidak-ngapa-ngapain-an saya menjelang pernikahan, dan rasa—masih—tidak percaya saya soal ini.

Is it really true? Is it even real?

menjadi pandai bersyukur, tapi bagaimana?

Tags

bagaimana pandai bersyukur, bersyukur, daily life, lesson learnt, life, menjadi pandai bersyukur, pelajaran hidup

Assalamu ‘alaikum readers yang baik hatinya.

Apa kabar? Semoga sehat-sehat ya.
Saya? Tentu saja baik, Alhamdulillah.

Pagi ini saya tiba di kantor yang hampir katakanlah kosong. Sebagian besar staff unit di mana saya bernaung sedang keluar kota untuk menyelenggarakan sebuah meeting regional yang cukup besar. Dan keinginan saya untuk blogging rasanya mendesak sekali, saking sepinya. Mulailah saya mengais-ngais tiap folder yang judulnya “blog draft” yang ada di hampir setiap drive—portable atau tidak—yang saya miliki. Mulai dari laptop kantor, laptop pribadi, usb stick, HD external yang jumlahnya lebih dari 3, hampir semua ada folder serupa. Sehingga besar keyakinan saya bahwa di salah satunya akan ada minimal satu draft belum matang yang bisa saya kembangkan.

16/06/2016

Tags

friendship, lesson learnt, life, Love, romantic, sweet memory

taken from coverlayout.com

I feel a  bit weird, and it is definitely different. I do feel like, hhh… fall in love?

16.06.2016. Happy Birthday to me. And this feeling indeed, appears like a present. For me.

it is where I belong

Tags

daily life, friendship, home, life, Love, poem, poetry, romantic

it is where I belong

I, almost certainly say Pati is my wonder place,
where I could rest all my anxiety and stress

but Jayapura is always there,
where I store those happiest childhood memories ever

then, Yogyakarta will always be my favorite,
no matter how far I’ve gone it always be home

still, Bogor is where I’ve rooted for so long,
where I found friendships, love and all what could come along

and then again, now Jakarta is where I stand,
with its numerous chances, it gives me spaces
to aspire, to dream,
and to be dare facing what life could bring

 

14/06/2016 two more days to be exact 27. Haa. Tell me more!
cheers,

atviana

selamat datang bulan juni!

Tags

hujan bulan juni, June, Juni, life, menyambut ramadhan, nature, Quote, quote bulan juni, selamat datang bulan juni

ketika Juni datang dan tiba-tiba saya merasa bahagia

 

assalamu alaikum wr wb.

Sudah tiba lagi di bulan Juni. 2016 cepat sekali hampir terlewati.

Tahun ini berdasarkan laporan BMKG juga merupakan tahun La Nina, dimana kemungkinan akan ada banyak hujan disepanjang tahun mendekati akhir. Artinya Juni akan banyak hujannya pula. :D

Ini random post aja sih. Hahahaha.. Anyway, selamat preparasi menjelang Ramadhan, semoga di Ramadhan kali ini kamu, saya bisa berlatih menjadi muslim yang lebih baik ya. Banyakin istigfar dan berdoa. *hah, pesan buat diri sendiri.

wassalamu ‘alaikum wr. wb.

with lots of love,
atviana

Teori Kesepadanan Vol 2.

Tags

daily life, daily rumble, lesson learnt, life, life companion, life lesson, life story, Love, romantic

Teori Kesepadanan Vol 2.

an honest talk about differences. and what it can tag along.

Well, so many theories developed around couple pairing or soul mates that meant to be together. Even I have created my own: Teori Kesepadanan. That post alone is not sufficient till I make the volume 2 of this post, since you know what I am facing now is completely new. I used to be attracted to people with at least one of these qualities in them, similar educational or professional background, artsy soul, leadership nature or something I can fancy at—basically fan-girling at.

The common believes are mostly divided into two sides; (1) Soul mates are essentially different individuals so they can complement each other flaws; then (2) Soul mates shall have lots of similarity so they could go along well together. And it comes to my theory which stands in between. Soul mates are basically have at least one common match: they have the same future potential and capacity to move forward despite of their differences: life, nature, characteristics, personal, background and anything you can relate.